Our nonexistent feelings, Jongseong feels the need to cut in. When the door opens, Riki is the one who answers, and all the dots start to connect in Jakes head. Hes exhausted. right guys? I know its awkward, and I know hes still mad at me. Do you love him? Riki asks, as casually as asking about the weather. He doesnt think there are any lingering feelings there, but a part of him cant help but wonder if theyre rekindling the flame, or something. Really. I miss you, Sunoo said when Riki came over, grabbing his hand and pouting severely. To any third-parties or with the participants. My first love, he says. Just a childish phase of yours?, No, Riki insists, shaking his head as hard and desperate as he can because hes always been better at expressing how he feels with action than with words. But yeah, its been a couple days. I didnt stop caring about you. Its my first time doing something like it, but I like it a lot, he went on. Bestie Sunoo made an Animal Crossings account, even though he found it a little boring. If were counting handies, then you popped my gay cherry., Sunghoon avoids eye contact. meme. We should hang out more, said Heeseung. Jungwon is one of his best friends. He asked Sunoo if he wanted to go smoke with him outside, but Sunoo didnt want to get crossed, so he said no, and Riki went outside on his own. What I did wrong, and if I couldve done better., Im sorry, Riki says again. Jake is very talkative when hes drunk., If you knew about it, then whyd you raise it to five-hundred dollars?, Because their plan is going to backfire, obviously, he says, bringing the covers up to his chest. Especially because its with someone as good as Jongseong. Thats also fine! Heeseungs friends had rented out an AirBnB, a small house just off-campus, for his birthday party. Its a forever thing, whatever it is that they have, anyway. Okay, maybe Heeseung had everything to do with The Breakup. Probably, Riki replied, flexing his fingers, palms smoothing down the hard gravel. Hey, Heeseung muttered into the top of Rikis head, I got you., Riki sucked in another quivering breath. Are you mad that he didnt tell you beforehand?, Heeseung turns his cheek onto the pillow, looking shocked. Heeseung chuckled. After exchanging Ill see you at dinners, they part ways, and Jungwon walks past Heeseung. I think hes waiting for me to.. Hes a slob. Riki frowned, and something clawed at his throat. Riki leaves Jake at the door and heads into Heeseungs room. You never told me, you know? Sunoo asks, then takes a trembling breath. He digs his fingernails into his palms, looking at the wall in front of him and not at Jake. Sunoo was the first friend Riki made in America. Dont act like you dont know what Im talking about, Jungwon says. You looked really sad just now., Jungwon glances at him. That's not all, though. Sunghoon bites his bottom lip, looking at the wall behind Sunoo when he admits, Before The Foursome, we used to do things., Sunoo hums and thinks about it. slack: you have a notification :) Me and Riki made a bet, Sunoo starts, and Jongseong does his best to focus. Want me to ask him? Jongseong offers. Home; About; Services; Gallery; Contact I appreciate it, really, I justnot right now.. Culture Theres a reason why Riki and Sunoo made that bet; it happens to be the same reason why both Jongseong and Jungwon accepted. He went to Heeseungs right after. "A couple of besties," D'Amelio responded as Beck laughed. You were so much more than that. I got the seaweed ones you like from the mini-mart. Jungwon wants me to talk to him again, Riki says, grabbing Heeseungs foot and shoving it away from his face. None of that is new, and none of that will change. Riki found himself telling Heeseung anyway. Sunoo and Jongseong are studying together at the engineering building. Sunoo didnt realize it when they first met in the fall, at Heeseungs birthday party, and even in their interactions afterward. See you, Riki says, and Jungwon makes his way out of the building. I used to think that Riki just had a crush on Heeseung, and Heeseung had a soft spot for him. He picks it up from the other end of the table and reads the message. What is it? Jungwon asks after a few minutes of admiring and studying the painting. I admire you for the opposite, Jungwon says. Higgens field Cool., Weve had time to think about it, Sunghoon says. I could stop whenever I wanted and go back to what I was doing before, but its just easy with him. Riki finally does, biting down on his lip when he sees the angry look on Jungwons face. Did you cry? Heeseung asked, wrapping an arm around one of Rikis knees. Are you feeling sick? Jongseong asks, running his fingers through Jungwons hair. He shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. Riki feels like he owes it to Jungwon to give him at least a semblance of something real. No matter how much you care about them, even if you know better, even if theyre making a mistake, you have to let them make it. You can give it back when you go back inside., Riki took it off his hands and quickly pulled it on, the hood falling over his head. I like pretty boys., Jongseong blinks. Jungwon cant look at Jongseong. Do you know him? Riki asked, eyes flicking back down. What about how you and Jungwon kiss even when Rikis not around to see it?, Jongseongs voice raises three pitches. Thank you, he says and he lifts his brush to the canvas, but stops before he makes any new strokes. Rikis having a heated debate with Heeseung about Little Nightmares. All that. How much this hurts.. Jongseongs friends with Jungwon, and Jungwons Heeseung bagged Bullet Bill and it took him from eleventh place to sixth. Hyung, Jungwon says, slipping into Korean, which he only does when hes frustrated or very tired. As much as they tried to avoid each other, the proximity helped ease the awkwardness. Theyre cold, but soft. "That is some Podolski shit!" or "Damn it, that shit's Podolski!" Has two meanings- 1) Denotes worth 2) High tech/ Flashy Its an observation.. But then Riki started going over to Heeseungs apartment in his free nights to game, do homework together, and enjoy each others company. His lock screen lights up with two texts sent at the same time. This is the thing: Jongseong knows Heeseung is lying. Heres a piece of advice: you dont need to pick., Jongseong blinks. Jungwon and Jongseongs schedules simply dont overlap: every time Jungwon has a break, Jongseong is either vacationing with his family or at his internship. I liked you so much, Riki whispers, blinking when he realizes that his eyes are stinging. You were sucking me off! He winces when he realizes that he, too, also broke the Fight Club rule just now. He usually came over to Sunoo and Jungwons in his free nights to game, do homework together, or just enjoy each others company. Im up for this and everything, but does anyone else think this is a really stupid idea? Jake asks after theyve all signed. I like you guys. Happy Valentines Day besties!!! He once hacked my Instagram and started posting ugly photos of me on my story, Jungwon said. I know, Riki replied, propping himself up on his elbow, smiling at Heeseung. He also internally notes how getting any information out of Lee Heeseung, especially when its about or related to himself, is like pulling teeth, but with Riki, hes suddenly the biggest gossip. When Jungwon steps outside the building, he bumps into Heeseung, who was practically sprinting. News We didnt do much.. Correlation is not causation. He looks at the painting again, squinting and looking for a face hidden in the composition. Right. Sunoo rolls his eyes, but does what Sunghoon told him to do. He never pushes. Heeseung isnt going to stop on his own, because Heeseung does what he wants, and he wants Jay. Only if Im not locked into answering it, Riki says. Theyre justliving their lives, and its not evenwe werent even exclusive. To love someone not in spite of their faults, but because of them, because their faults make up who they are, and you love all of who they are; its a heavy thing, maybe horrible and beautiful also, but its heavy more than anything. Some facts that Jungwon knows with absolute certainty: He loves Jongseong, and he has loved him since the day they met. Is he the only one that sees the major problem with The Bet? i thought you were going to korea tmr to see ur grandparents, jongseong A lot. I really do, Riki said, voice cracking. Riki did not break up with Sunoo because he stopped loving him; he broke up with Sunoo because he stopped being the person who loved Sunoo. Im excited. Sunoo looks over, out of curiosity, and isnt surprised at all by what he sees: one message from Heeseung, the other from Jungwon. The thing is: what they did tonight was definitely sex. I cant explain it. To make Sunoo happy. For the most part, he likes his classmates, his clubmates, and his teammates, but theres something very different about the people you choose to hang out with outside of your obligations. He knows it, too. You asked me if you could come over, sat me down, said, I want to break up, and then watched me as I cried. Im getting really tired of it, Jungwon says, squeezing his eyes shut, clenching his hands in fists. Youre beautiful, Jungwon wants to say, but he knows that that isnt an appropriate thing to say to someone whose heart has just been broken in two. I promise., Baby steps, Sunoo says. Riki nods, sucking in a breath when he feels tears drip down to his pants. And Jay, Isnt capable of letting go of people he loves?, Jake laughs. Why?, I dont know, its justisnt it a little weird how invested he is in this?, Jungwon looks like hes sucking on a lemon. Or maybe this is a part of him that Jake couldnt bring out. But I was the one who helped stretch you out.. Heeseung invited Jongseong; Jongseong invited Jungwon; Jungwon invited Sunoo; Riki and Sunoo were madly in love back then, and they went everywhere together, so Riki was invited too. So thats why Sunoo is distraught downstairs. Theres still the puffy Gudetama sticker Sunoo gifted him, positioned in the bottom right corner. Everyone has noticed. At that point in Sunoos life, he was still head over heels with Riki. He needs to drown himself in alcohol immediately. Jongseong knew, from Rikis Instagram, that he and Heeseung went to a skate park together yesterday. All of you. Vulnerability is hard and Jungwon swallows, looking at his feet, realizing that hes started listing the reasons why he loves Jongseong. Look at me.. Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge. Jongseong had indeed been distracted, but he had felt the sting of rejection the morning after. Im not desperate for it. And its a terrifying thought, knowing how much youve changed and having tangible evidence for the change. How do you really feel about Riki? Jongseong asks. Cant you see how much that hurts him?. Riki, Im sorry. youd know if read the NDA contracts Like, its fine. Is that a problem?, Of course not, Jongseong hurried to say. Hey, if youre going to fall asleep immediately, at least change into pajamas.. Jungwon is the one gasping this time, and Jongseong is the one taking advantage of his parted lips. You alwaysdrop plans with us at a drop of a hat for him.. And its really weird when you refer to yourself in the third person., Sunghoon snorts. Heeseung pulls himself back with an annoyed huff. Because the Riki I know would rather throw himself off this balcony than sit here with me.. He also knows that Sunoo is strong, and that he always tries to do the best he can. Sunghoon doesnt say anything; he looks too shocked to speak. And he really loved me. There are seven of them on the balcony of the sophomore dorms, sitting around a circular table as they pass around a bowl. You know what Sunoo told me? But is what you want me to do fair to me?, Neither of them say anything for a long moment. It was the talk of the university. We should kiss, Jungwon says a full week into The Bet. Love in motion, love because. Sorry, Riki said, pulling the sleeves of the hoodie over his hands, bunching up the fabric in his palms, shrinking in on himself. Each and every one of his actions is done with care and purpose. This painting is not something that is for him to see, either. What does thatits not like I can have them both., Sunoo sighs. But while theyre on the topic of Riki, he decides to ask the question everyones been wonderingat least him, Jongseong, and Jake. Just you?, Sunghoon forgot the alc in the apartment. The door is unlocked. Its a popular smoke spot. There was also everything Riki didnt say: He was my best friend, but now you are. Smoke twirls into the air. The object is Heeseung and Jongseong, the unbalanced force is Nishimura Riki. When are you heading to California, by the way? Jungwon asks, picking his bag up and slinging it over his shoulder. Not really. I dont think you want to come with.. Explore the . Jungwon knows that Riki is saying something else, but he also knows that it is not for him to hear. One of many drunken mistakes theyve made together. Youre still cute now, Heeseung says. Because its you, he keeps inside. They didnt know how to in the new context. They sure are something, even if Jungwon isnt at all sure what that thing is. That was nice, Jongseong says lamely, roughly, getting out of Jungwons space.